I remember in my early 30’s looking up to and observing a lady who was in her 50’s who worked in my office at the BBC. On the surface she looked like she had it all but upon closer examination she appeared deeply insecure. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it but in my mind I was like ‘gosh’, I don’t want to reach 50 years old and still be second guessing myself. I felt for her and told myself in my Naija manner ‘’That at her age that will not be my portion’’.

But who said life was easy? Who says you will be self assured and confident in your 40’s and beyond? It doesn’t just happen. It requires flexing those confident muscles daily. 

You have to go on a journey of self reflection and improvement. It involves being totally honest with yourself. It’s not been an easy journey for me  but as I approach my 48th birthday in a few weeks, I believe I am getting closer to self actualization.

What does Self Actualization mean? The Dictionary defines it as ”The realization or fulfillment of one’s talents and potentialities”. Once you have self actualized, you have fulfilled your full potential as a human being. But it requires the following to achieve it:
  • ·      Being the best version of self
  • ·      Accepting who you are with all your strengths and weaknesses
  • ·      Developing strong resilience to life challenges
  • ·      Not taking the actions of others so personally
  • ·      Being comfortable in your own skin
  • ·      Taking responsibility for your life
  • ·      Not blaming anyone for your circumstances
  • ·      Finding purpose in your life
  • ·      Finding purpose beyond your immediate self
  • ·      Enjoying your life now
  • ·      Loving yourself just as you are
  • ·      Loving others and their short comings unconditionally – if you love others with conditions, you will always be disappointed
  • ·      Growing daily in wisdom
  • ·      Embracing growth and learning
  • ·      Confidence in your God given abilities
  • ·      Dancing like no one is watching – P.S Ive been doing that all my life (she smiles)
  • ·       Being grateful and appreciating every part of your life journey.


I am coming to a point in my life where I am enjoying being me because I am stuck with me until God calls me home.
How about you? Have you Self Actualized? Please let me know in the comment box.

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