I know what it’s like to battle with low self-esteem. For years I couldnt differentiate between Confidence (Believing in your abilities) and Self Esteem (Believing in yourself). I wondered why I believed in my abilities, yet struggled with my self-worth. Anyone who has achieved success in any area like getting a top degree, having a thriving business, buying a new home or two, buying the latest cars, soon realizes that it is neither sufficient nor necessary for healthy High self esteem. One only has to observe celebrities who can perform in front of millions (confidence) yet struggle with low self esteem and some actually kill themselves. 

During my journey, I soon discovered that High Self Esteem can not be gained from anything external. It has to come from inside of me.

So here are 5 tactics I practice daily to keep my self esteem HIGH! It’s worth noting.
1. The Practice Of Self-Acceptance

It’s truly a struggle for people to accept themselves, especially women. It doesnt help that we are compared so much more among ourselves than men are. I remember a season when I wasn’t comfortable with my height. At only 5:4, I wanted to be taller like my siblings and my parents. It didnt help that I had people in my life that would throw shade about my height. Throughout my 20’s I wore block heels with extra inches so that I could appear taller. Then one day I woke up and threw away the big blocks and just accepted my height. My new motto became ”Improve what you can change and accept what you cant” and that improved my self esteem”.



2. The Practice Of Self Responsibility 
Jack Canfield’s book, The Success Principles is a book I keep close to my heart. In the first chapter of his book he talks about taking 100% responsibility for your life. When I read that chapter, my attitude started to change for the better. Often low esteem comes from not taking responsibility for our outcomes and then we end up blaming everyone else or making excuses.
Here are some things I am responsible for
1.        I am responsible for my achievements
2.        I am responsible for my personal happiness
3.        I am responsible for my choices and action
4.        I am responsible for raising my self esteem
3. The Practice Of Assertiveness
People with strong assertiveness skills have high self-esteem. They know their worth. They know what they will tolerate and what they wont. They are not people pleasers. I taught myself the practice of assertiveness because I was tired of giving into people’s demands when I really wanted to say NO thanks. Assertiveness also means knowing your rights and standing up for what you believe in, even if you are the only one standing. 
4. The Practice Of Living On Purpose
The only way to maintain high self-esteem is to live a life of purpose. What is your purpose? Your purpose is what you were born to do. Contrary to popular belief, your purpose may not be centered around your job. It maybe your ministry or something that you do in your spare time.  All the challenging experiences in your life may lead to your purpose. When you know your purpose and practice living on purpose, it increases high self esteem. 
5. The Practice Of Gratitude
On my journey of self -discovery, I realised that I cannot have high self-esteem if I lack gratitude. So I intentionally choose gratitude. Sometimes I just randomly hug my husband or my children. I spend moments in the day just being thankful for life. I love to celebrate others and that is part of my gratitude for people God has placed in my life. I tap into gratitude daily and it helps with high self-esteem.
There are times that I slip and I don’t feel good about myself and I pray and say ”Father God deliver me from this low feeling” then I realise I am human and I get back up and start practicing again. I must practice.
Here’s a recommended book

How do you practice High Self- esteem? Please leave a comment and tell me more. 

Here’s my previous blog post

Thanks for stopping by and please share with someone who could benefit from this knowledge. 



1 comment

  1. As always Riri, your post has made a lot of sense!
    For me, i know i have a lot of self confidence, and i never knew it was different from self esteem. Lol.
    After reading through, i am thankful that i practise some of these points on the daily. My motto is "I am responsible for everything that i am or that happens to me". It has helped me to look inward always and find solutions. That is empowering.

    Workinh in a male-dominated field, i find i have to work twice as hard to be noticed.
    Among fellow women, i do not compare or envy. If you have something i like, i compliment you and work on achieving it myself. I see other women as an inspiration to do better. Rather than hating on them, i get close and learn the how…

    Kudos again Riri. Great read! ��

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